增强语句表现力的有效方法

一、避免使用语意弱的“be”动词。
　　1、把句中的表语转换为不同的修饰语。例如：
　　Weak： The trees are bare. The grass is brown. The landscape seems drab. Revision：The brown grass and bare trees form a drab landscape. （转换为前置定语）
　　Or： The landscape， bare and brown， begged for spring green. （转换为并列结构作后置定语）
　　2、将作表语用的形容词或名词变为行为动词。
　　例如：
　　1） Weak： The team members are good players.
　　Revision： The team members play well.
　　2） Weak： One worker's plan is the elimination of tardiness.
　　Revision： One worker's plan eliminates tardiness.
　　3、在以“here”或“there”开头的句子中，把“be”动词后的名词代词变成改写句的主语。例如：
　　1） Weak： There is no opportunity for promotion.
　　Revision： No opportunity for promotion exists.
　　2） Weak： Here are the books you ordered.
　　Revision： The books you ordered have arrived.
　　二、多用语意具体的动词，保持句意简洁明了。例如：
　　1、Poor： My supervisor went past my desk.
　　Better： My supervisor sauntered （=walked slowly） past my desk.
　　2、Poor： She is a careful shopper.
　　Better： She compares prices and quality.
　　三、尽量运用主动语态。例如：
　　1、Weak： The organization has been supported by charity.
　　Better： Charity has supported the organization.
　　2、Weak： The biscuits were stacked on a plate.
　　Better： Mother stacked the biscuits on a plate.
　　四、防止使用语意冗长累赘的词语。例如：
　　1、Wordy： My little sister has a preference for chocolate milk.
　　Improved： My little sister prefers chocolate milk.
　　2、Wordy： We are in receipt of your letter and intend to follow your recommendations.
　　Improved： We have received your letter and intended to follow your recommendation.
　　3、Redundant： We had a serious crisis at school yesterday when our chemistry laboratory caught fire.
　　Improved： We had a crisis at school yesterday when our chemistry laboratory caught fire.
　　4、Redundant： My sister and I bought the same， identical dress in different stores.
　　Improved： My sister and I bought the same dress in different stores.
　　五、杜绝滥用陈旧词语或难懂的专业术语。例如：
　　1、Weak： They will not agree to his proposals in any shape or form.
　　Improved： They will not agree to any of his proposals.
　　2、Weak： I need her financial input before I can guesstimate our expenditures next fall.
　　Improved： I need her financial figures before I can estimate our expenditures next fall.